Babies & Mom

Transgender man who fell pregnant after a ‘Grindr one-night stand’ and he reveals he’s raising his daughter with a new husband

transgender man has revealed how he fell pregnant while transitioning after having a one-night stand with a man.

Ash Patrick Schade, 28, from Huntington, West Virginia, had been two years into transitioning and was taking testosterone and estrogen blockers when he discovered he was pregnant in February 2020, following a ‘Grindr hook-up’.

‘It had never occurred to me that I could get pregnant whilst on testosterone and estrogen blockers, as it’s such a rare occurrence,’ Ash explained.

After finding out he was pregnant, Ash, a mental health worker and PhD student, stopped hormone treatment to allow him to carry a child.

A month after finding out he was pregnant, he met his now husband Jordan, 28. Daughter Ronan was born in October 2020.

The couple are raising one-year-old Ronan together and Ash, who underwent top surgery to remove his breasts after the birth, says he is holding off on having full gender reassignment surgery so they can have more children together.

Ash Patrick Schade, 28, from Huntington, West Virginia, had been two years into transitioning and was taking testosterone and estrogen blockers when he discovered he was pregnant in February 2020, following a ‘Grindr hook-up’. Pictured, Ash before transitioning (left) and after having his ‘top surgery’ which took place following the birth of his daughter Ronan in October

After finding out he was pregnant, Ash, a mental health worker, stopped hormone treatment and gave birth to daughter Ronan in October 2020. Pictured while pregnant

Ash met husband Jordan one month after learning he was pregnant and the couple (pictured in hospital) are now raising daughter Ronan together

Ash, pictured with Ronan, is holding off on full gender reassignment surgery in order to have more children with husband Jordan

Ash, who was previously married to another man, explained: ‘I was going through a rough time from 2019 and 2020 and struggled with my mental health due to going through a divorce.

‘I ended up going on Grindr hook-ups and accidentally fell pregnant

‘It was a huge shock, but I fell in love with my bump and pushed through the pregnancy, despite struggling with the dysphoria and medical risks.’

Ash said he ‘felt like he was in the wrong body’ for ‘as long as he could remember’ and was sent to conversion therapy by his parents as a child, in the hope it would ‘fix’ him.

‘I hid my boobs and identified as a boy at school and went by Ash, and wore gothic dark clothes as a way to hide how I looked,’ he recalled.

‘Until one day, my mother, who does not wish to be named, sent me to school in a pink two piece for picture day and my teacher loudly declared that I was actually a girl called Ashley.

Ash, pictured with Ronan following the birth, decided to go ahead with the pregnancy after overcoming the initial shock

Once Ronan was born, Ash underwent top surgery, pictured, to remove his breasts

Ash, pictured following his top surgery, admits strangers are often confused when he explains his daughter’s parentage

Ash, pictured with daughter Ronan, said he has always struggled with feeling like he is in the wrong body

‘I went from popular to a nobody overnight, with my then girlfriend’s mum calling my mum to “keep that gay slur of a child away from my daughter”.

‘I had a really horrible childhood and am a suicide attempt survivor from the gender dysphoria and trauma I went through.’

Ash began transitioning in 2018.

He feared his mental health may take a turn for the worse when he discovered the pregnancy but had the support of his husband, Jordan, who he married in February 2021, four months after Ronan’s birth.

Ash continued: ‘Nobody wanted to take my case when I first found out I was pregnant. I was such a high-risk case, with a lot of potential for the pregnancy to go awry.

Ash, center, with husband Jordan and daughter Ronan at home together in West Virginia

‘I struggled with the pregnancy, especially with the pandemic. But once I was assigned a doctor, he worked with me to understand how I was feeling and what I was going through.

‘When I went into labor, the team of medical staff had already been briefed on my situation and were amazing, until they were swapped out with different staff members later on…

‘It may sound counter-intuitive, but giving birth felt like one of the most masculine things I have done.

‘To me, growing up and looking at male role models, being a man was never about having the biggest penis, it was about what you did to help others, what you could accomplish and achieve.

Ash, pictured with one-year-old Ronan, said in a way giving birth was the most masculine thing he had ever accomplished because it showed his strength

One-year-old Ronan is being raised by Ash and his husband Jordan, who met in March 2020

Ash said he wants to be ‘honest and open’ with Ronan about his journey to parenthood

‘Bringing life into the world as a “seahorse parent” was incredible.’

Ash also credited the support of his friends, the online gay and trans community and the Satanic Temple, of which he is  a member.

He said he is looking forward to telling Ronan how she was born as she grows up.

‘I want to be honest and open with Ronan the whole way, and explain to her that sometimes trans men can have babies,’ he continued

‘I can explain to her how I am both her mom and her dad. A lot of the time people will stop us whilst we are out and say that her mother must look beautiful, or if I’m out with Jordan they’ll ask where we adopted her.

‘So it’s usually quite an interesting conversation to begin when I explain it all to them.’

Ash, pictured, said he he explains to one-year-old Ronan that he is both her ‘mom and dad’

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