Goldie Hawn is speaking out about her traumatic experience giving birth to her first child, Oliver Hudson.

Filling in for daughter Kate Hudson as guest host on Oliver’s podcast Sibling Revelry, Hawn, who shares the siblings with her ex-husband Bill Hudson, opened up how Oliver ended up in the NICU following her emergency C-section.

Goldie Hawn details her traumatic birth experience with son Oliver Hudson. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images for Netflix) (Michael Kovac via Getty Images)

“I learned that my baby might die,” she said. “You had a 40 percent chance of living. …They wheeled me into my room, and it was dark, and all the hallways were dark, and they put me in my bed and the doctor came in and he was very upset. He said, ‘He’s going to make it. He’s going to make it.’”

Hawn shared that Hudson suffered from a meconium aspiration, which is when a newborn breathes in a mix of amniotic fluid and fecal matter from their first bowel movement.

The Overboard actress also revealed that her own mother was having a “PTSD moment” during Oliver’s time in the NICU as she previously lost a child from SIDS.

When it was Hawn’s time to go see Oliver again after being separated from her son during recovery, she said she was afraid to do so.

“I was so afraid I would see you, and I would fall in love with you, and you would die,” the mom of four admitted.

The experience stayed with her: Hawn revealed that years later, while visiting a NICU during a charity event, she had a “panic attack.”

“I had to get out. It was just visceral, in my being,” she said. “These things, whether you’re conscious or unconscious, they do matter.”

Now, Hawn is an advocate for mental health. She founded the mindfulness organization MindUp in the wake of the terrorist attacks on 9/11, in order to help children find ways to cope during stressful times. Now, she’s using the organization to help children affected by the coronavirus pandemic. In May, she explained to Good Morning Britain, “When this pandemic happened it gobsmacked everyone. We didn’t know how to handle our children, we’re dealing with ourselves — so many issues with parenting and how do I handle this. It’s a plethora of problems.”