1. What do you mean this isn’t how you get from point A to point B? This is how we’ve been doing it all along, therefore it can’t be wrong. You’re wrong.

2. Let me show you the dance of my people. It’s a special dance, you have to follow specific steps, you could never do it, human.

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3. Now you know the secret, we fall from the sky, just like angels. Except sometimes we land on other cats, just for fun. You know, we have a sense of humor too.

4. Gravity, it doesn’t mean much to me…did I hear you say “treats”? Are those the good ones with chicken? Or did you buy the cheap ones again, Karen?

5. You think I want cuddles, but really I’m just trying to murder this thing that keeps moving that you call the hand. One of these days I’ll succeed.

6. Flying mode activated. Only for special occasions like getting away from dogs and children.

7. Hey guys, wait up, I wanna play football too, I’m really good at it. Look, I can fly! I could be a real asset to your team.

8. Best goalies in the world, if we had them at goal posts your team would never lose, we could be the best, but you’re playing.

9. Must get away from the vet, will jump on anything and everything to get away. Oops, is that a wall of cages?

10. Let me teach you the secret martial art of cats. You need agility, good reflexes and a really anxious and scared personality.

11. And the water shall part before me like it did before Moses. I mean…meow, I’m a cat, I don’t have super-powers or anything like that. This water situation? It’s a complete coincidence.

12. You, humans, call this parkour, but to us, it’s just a state of being.